


From the Mixed-Up Files of Joan Watson

by OldShrewsburyian



Category: Elementary (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Background Case, Banter, Community: watsons_woes, Drabble Collection, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 20:58:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14777133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OldShrewsburyian/pseuds/OldShrewsburyian
Summary: Elementary-style drabbles based on 5 of Watson's untold cases, from a Dreamwidth challenge on the latter.





	1. The Bogus Laundry Affair

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting these here in part because I'm wondering about expanding some of them into casefics. Any reader feedback on the viability/desirability of this appreciated.

“I thought you got rid of that shirt years ago.”

He looked up from his bowl of cereal. “It’s a disguise, Watson.”

She turned to the coffeemaker to hide her smile. “The disguise of a man who listens to Pink Floyd?”

“The disguise of a man who trusts a perennially empty laundromat with his clothes. It is impossible, by the way, to properly appreciate Pink Floyd on an average sound system due to — ”

“Fascinating.” 

“Anyway,” continued Sherlock brightly, “I suspect it’s a front for an international money laundering scheme. Clever touch, that.”

“What is?”

“ _Laundering_.”

Joan groaned. “Fine, tell me.”


	2. The Dreadful Business of the Abernetty Family

“Parsley doesn’t _sink_ in butter,” said Joan, for what felt like the hundredth time. “It’s a scientific impossibility.”

“Aha!” said Sherlock, with disgusting enthusiasm. “And what does that tell you?”

“That you’re hallucinating. That we’re collectively hallucinating. That I’ve fallen asleep at Marcus’ desk and this is a horrible dream.”

“It tells us that the Abernettys were not consuming butter.”

“If the moral of this story is that I should have paid attention to margarine commercials, I’m going to scream.”

“Buying butter,” interjected Marcus solemnly, “is a natural human instinct.”

“I quite agree,” said Sherlock, “but the Abernettys did not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the very dedicated Sherlockian who did the experiments to prove that parsley doesn't sink in butter.


	3. The Case of Vamberry the Wine Merchant

“I find the name suspicious,” said Sherlock.

“What, Vamberry?”

“The wine merchants in that part of the city are chiefly Italian. I met a Spaniard operating out of Woodlawn recently, but he is an exception.”

“So maybe there’s another exception.”

“Perhaps. But why an English wine merchant in an Irish neighborhood?”

Joan shrugged, then brightened. “Does this mean that Marcus and I go incognito?”

Sherlock drummed his fingers on the table. “Better if you are left stranded by a fictitious date. Trade on the inevitable sympathy.”

She made a face at him. “Stood up? Highly improbable.”

“But not impossible, Watson.”


	4. The Adventure of the Bishopsgate Jewel Case

“Sherlock!” She had opened the worn velvet case expecting, perhaps, a string of slightly yellowed pearls.

“Mm?”

“Sherlock.” She almost had her breath back. “This is priceless.”

“Not quite, though its last valuation took place almost a century ago.” He spoke coolly. “It was a queen’s wedding present.”

“It — what?”

“It was in the early days of my collaboration with the Yard. The thieves (apprehended) were looking for this. I felt no need to disclose the family secrets of a Bishopsgate jeweler to Lestrade.” He added: “Take it. Happy unbirthday.” 

Joan stared, not at the emerald, but at her partner.


	5. A Story for Which...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Matilda Briggs was not the name of a young woman, Watson," said Holmes in a reminiscent voice. "It was a ship which is associated with the giant rat of Sumatra, a story for which the world is not yet prepared."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The _Matilda Briggs_ is, of course, canonically mentioned in _Elementary._ I suspect that our dynamic couldn't resist the challenge, in the end.

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.”

“Sun, ships, sea air,” panted Sherlock at her shoulder. “A treasure hunt! The romance of childhood…”

“Less talking, more swimming.” He obeyed. She found it one of his more endearing qualities that he always did so — in a crisis.

“I feel like Indiana Jones,” she observed, when they next paused. “Why’d it have to be rats?”

“One rat, Watson.”

“I’m propitiating ours with pizza when we get home.” She relented when she saw him blench; the thing had bitten him pretty badly. “And I’m making you watch The Princess Bride.”


End file.
